Hello Potential Clients/Employers!
Thank you for viewing my portfolio. I currently have limited availability, but would be open to hearing about your project.
Look at Old Spice man. Now look at me. Now back at Old Spice man.
Could he? He could! If he sat his towel wrapped sculpted buttocks down in front of a computer and spent his days staring at code and markup, fussing over things like Segmentations Faults and parse errors. And that one floating div that just refuses to position itself in the same location across all browsers.
But Old Spice man has better things to do like stand in a bathroom exposing his Presidential Ab Point dressed in nothing but his Monocle Smile. And I, on the other hand, have spent years mastering the skills of syntax-check, Firebug and progressive enhancement.
Look back at Old Spice man, now back at me.
I am the web developer Old Spice man could program like. If Old Spice man wasn’t otherwise gainfully employed by a certain multi-national producer of consumer goods.
So hire me, the experienced web developer that Old Spice man could be if he chose to apply himself.
This introduction is now Diamonds.
 Fine print: Will not Skype meetings in bathroom attired only in bath-towel.